THE DAYSLEEPER AND THE MAN ON WHEELS

When I first changed my shift at work my main concern was to be able to spend more time with my kids.  As they both started to go to school full days, my 3:30pm to midnight shift wasn't going to cut it anymore. I'd be able to see them off in the mornings but I wouldn't be home until they were fast asleep.  That means I wouldn't be able to attend any school plays, concerts, art shows, or any basketball or softball games.  That would suck.

So now I work overnights, meaning, I'm usually home between 9am and 11am.  This is when I'm supposed to sleep. SUPPOSED TO, anyway.  Mondays and Tuesdays I'm home at 11am.  By the time i take out garbage, feed the dogs, let them out and finally lay down it is noon.  Keep in mind I have an alarm set (one of five) for 2:50pm. This is so I can wake up and get the kids at the bus stop.

If you've ever been to my house you have met Max, a Chihuahua/Jack Russell mix.  We got him form a local rescue group. He and his sisters were found in a dumpster in Tennessee.  You'd never know it now, he thinks he's KING.  Not just king of the house but king of the neighborhood.  He will bark at the UPS truck, the FEDEX Truck, every motorcycle, the mailman, any car with a loud stereo, anybody with the audacity to walk or jog by and GOD help us all if a dog is being walked anywhere near the King's Lair.  In Short, he barks a lot.

One day, as my eyes were finally closing, MAX starting barking.  But this was a different kind of bark, this was a more intense display of canine bravado.  What usually last about 30 seconds kept going on and on and on.  I finally had to come down stairs to see what the hell was freaking him out so much.  All I could see at first was the PSNH truck parked across the street.  "AH, Meter reader" I said to my self.  Then I noticed two planks resting off the tailgate of the PSNH truck. "What the..."  The I saw him, Buzzing down my driveway on a Segway.  No wonder Max was crapping himself.  Can you imagine what a dog must be thinking when he sees a Segway for the first time.  "What the F@#%"  "How can a man have wheels?"  "Witchcraft !!"

 It probably looked like this:

But to Max, it probably looked like this:

I didn't have any doggie Prozac so I had to take the now shivering pup up to bed with me and shut the door.  His nerves were shot for the next few days.  I don't know what's going to happen the next time the meter reader swoops on by. Max my go right through the window to get him. Which makes for a funny visual  of a guy on Segway trying to escape from a 20lb dog.  My money is on Max. But, remember, NO WAGERING.